Three rules I’m setting before my child goes online

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I’m scared of the internet.

Not in regard to myself or my husband, but I’m scared of it because of my daughter.

She’s seven, so I thankfully don’t have to worry about the peer pressure of it quite yet. But I know that it’s on the horizon, and it terrifies me.

Study after study after study tells us that social media, YouTube, and unmonitored access to the Internet is wildly harmful for our children.

Yet, we unfortunately live in a society where parents either don’t care or don’t have the ability to care.

And how could they? Rent is out of control, prices of everything have gone up exponentially, and our ability to manage modern society’s demands while maintaining emotional sanity is nearly impossible for the vast majority of people.

I am wildly lucky.

I run my own business, so while I have to answer to the flow of the economy (and pay for my own insurance which is EXPENSIVE), I do not have to answer to a corporate entity who tells me there are no raises this year.

I have a super involved partner, so while I am usually the primary care parent, I do not have to be (or feel) responsible for my daughter 24/7 when she’s home.

I have an incredible support system, so even though I don’t have a lot of family in Central PA, I have many friends that have become family and are there in an instant when I ask.

But unfortunately, there are so many parents out there who don’t have any of that.

They are at the whims of corporations, without involved co-parents, and have no one to help them when they need it.

Add all of that stress and pressure together, how can you possibly keep up with ensuring your kids have the ideal monitored screen time amount?

I don’t know what the future is going to bring for my family, but I am already starting to compile best practices for my child’s internet usage (fully knowing this could change when we finally get there).

It’s a quick list, but it’s solid.

1. Internet in public spaces only.

Homework? YouTube? Chatting with friends? You’re going to be at the dining room table or in the family room where I can see your screen when I want to. Will it stay this way until 18? I’m not sure. But will this policy be the foundation that hopefully my daughter doesn’t know to fight me on? I certainly hope so.

2. No internet on the phone.

I know that I’m definitely going to sound like an old fart, but I didn’t have internet on my phone growing up. That’s not a necessary component of human development. She simply doesn’t need it. She can use it at school and at home in those public spaces.

3. No social media until 18.

The stress of hearing other parents’ stories and how social media damaged their children’s mental and emotional health (which often slipped into physical health) is overwhelming. Especially in a society that cares more about a woman’s appearance then her worth, no way will I have her adolescent body comparing itself to AI generated “perfect women” on social media.

I, very, very fortunately, am not swayed by the irritation of others, my child included. I know without a doubt that she is going to continuously fight me on these things. But, unlike most, people’s distaste of me provides an intense amount of satisfaction. (I do not know why. I am probably a very broken person.)

So if Coraline is mad at me for years, so be it. My job is to raise her to be an incredible human, not to be my best friend. (Though, at the end of the day, I’m hopeful I can have both.)