Trying to understand dogs

That's me stealthily creeping up on my uncle, who's totally unaware of my presence.

Why do people love dogs?

I don’t get it. My dad is a dog person (I don’t mind, he knows I prefer Mom) and no matter how rude or barbaric my uncle is, Dad loves it.

We went to my uncle’s place recently and right away he got on my nerves. Dad put my cage down and suddenly Uncle Kaiser, a little Swiss mountain dog, raced over to jump on Dad and tell him how much he missed him and all that other mushy stuff. The big dummy didn’t notice me (he’s old and has cataracts) and stepped on me and my cage.

Mom let me out and I raced under the couch, praying to Garfield that it was only a short visit, with the dog totally unaware who he was tripping over.

What is with dogs? All my uncle does is bark and whine and whimper at Dad… and Dad laughs and thinks it’s cute! Meanwhile I politely purr with dad at 4 in the morning and he considers that is annoying. I don’t get it.

An hour or so later, I felt bold and raced from the couch to the basement where everyone was hanging out. Kaiser didn’t notice me slip behind him; I don’t think he can smell or hear very well either.

I hid underneath the basement couch when suddenly, my loving yet simple-minded father knelt down to find me! Of course that brought the big dumb dog over who finally realized he wasn’t the only pet in the house.

He paced around and tried to stick his fat head underneath the couch (Dad laughed and said it was adorable; I found it repulsive). I swatted him on the nose but he didn’t seem to notice. Finally I crept out the other side, but somehow he saw me! He chased after me with his tail wagging and collar jingling. Every time I sped up, so would he. Finally I slipped under a piece of furniture and he left; actually I think he forgot I was there. It’s like I always tell Dad, dogs need Ritalin.

While the people ate a ton of food, Uncle Kaiser lurked under the table the whole time. Dad gets mad when I walk on the table and touch his food to make sure it’s warm enough yet the dog can eat scraps that fall to the ground?

With the dog busy I could roam freely and climb wherever I wanted. As I stood on a chair, Uncle Kaiser walked by unaware of me again. I tried to send a message by swatting him on the back and the head; yet somehow he didn’t notice my swipes because he walked on by obliviously with that dumb smile on his face.

Dad gave me a treat and some attention when we got home, but I still don’t understand why he preferred the dog jumping and nuzzling with him as opposed to me rubbing against his leg and playfully biting his hands.

Have any of you cats met dogs? What do you think of them?