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Married to a stay-at-home dad.

A few weeks ago, my husband became a hot topic in a Facebook group whose sole purpose is to roast one another. Our group was named after Sharon, who badly blackened her Thanksgiving pie and then blamed in on Marie Calendar. The name of our group in itself is a roast. 

Well, the question was asked, “Who is a stay-at-home mom?” Hundreds of answers poured in. Mine seemed to be the only one that attracted its very own thread. All I put was “Dad***,” but the train immediately left the station. 

Some of the conversation was incredibly interesting, if not hilariously catty, and the questions were extremely varied in nature. I thought I would share a few of the inquiries here along with my responses. 

“So he day drinks and ‘doesn’t have time’ to get the laundry done, right?” 

If he’s day drinking, I haven’t caught him yet. And thankfully, he gets the laundry gone more often than me. Dumps it all in together and washes it on cold. Nothing bad has happened yet. Pro tip: five fabric softener sheets for no static cling. 

“How do you even afford that?” 

I would say that our spending verges on the edge of super thrift. The tricks I use all the time: 

* Ask myself “Do I actually need that?” whenever I see something I want to buy. The answer is no 99.9% of the time, so I don’t buy it. Cute clothes, home décor, office stuff, the list goes on. If it’s a want, it doesn’t get bought. 

* Live in a reasonably sized house i.e. not big. Smaller mortgage payment and smaller utility bills. 

* If possible, DIY. Landscaping, cleaning, home repairs, and anything else. If we can do it ourselves, we do. 

“But like, what do you do?” 

I’m a graphic designer.  

“That pays well? Just moving around shapes all day?” 

(That one had me laughing.) It pays well enough. I don’t drive a Lamborghini or anything. 

“Does he just watch the kid?” 

I wouldn’t say “just.” Watching the kid is the reason I make money from moving shapes. Watching our kid is his job. It is way more valuable than my job, too. Raising a good human is more important than making money, in my opinion. As a bonus, he also makes me lunch and cooks dinner, but those are perks, not part of his job description. 

“What does he do all day?” 

What all stay-at-home parents do all day. Read, make forts, play games, color and paint, and go on adventures to the park or library. If he’s lucky enough to get a break during the day (i.e. nap time), he’ll pick up a book or research stocks (i.e. nap time for me). I highly encourage leisure if he has the ability.  

“So you work at home, and he’s always at home …do you get sick of each other?” 

No way. He’s chill and funny and only boring when he talks about the stock market too much. And, maybe this is nuts, but shouldn’t you genuinely enjoy your partner? Isn’t that the whole point of shacking up?  

“Shacking up, what are you, 90?” 

Honestly, I might be. I am very tired. 

Bitsy McCann
Bitsy McCann owns a boutique graphic design firm in Harrisburg, PA, performs original music all around Central PA, officiates one-of-a-kind weddings, and spends most of her free time obsessing over her husband and toddler. She would absolutely welcome your thoughts and commentary - send her a message on either LinkedIn or Facebook

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