Helping your child mend a broken heart

One of the most challenging things for a parent to handle is when their child experiences pain. Whether it be a skinned knee or bumps and bruises from learning to ride a bike, a parent wants to take away any discomfort. As kids grow up, we cannot always protect them. Heartbreak after a relationship is one of those experiences.  

Romance for teens looks very different than it did for us, but there’s romance behind the memes and direct messages (DMs). Social media offers opportunities to chat directly, and send flirty memes before meeting up in person or even exchanging phone numbers for calls or texting. Why pass notes in class or write a long love letter when you can just send a DM, snap, or tweet to convey your romantic interest?  

Helping your teen deal with a breakup can be tricky and awkward. Breakups in our era involved taking down pictures taped to locker doors or packing up everything that reminded us of our exes. One thing that has not changed is that teens do not always express their feelings to their parents. They may talk about the breakup with their friends or share on social media in a post that offers a glimpse into their minds and hearts.  

Monitoring your teen’s social media can help parents keep them safe by identifying potentially alarming or inappropriate behavior online. Having an open conversation with your children even before they are teenagers is very important. Let them know you respect their privacy and establish clear guidelines and expectations for their social media use. Consider using parental controls to limit time on social media and monitor app usage. These tools help keep track of where kids are physically, socially, and mentally.   

Another way to help teenagers cope with a breakup is to distract them from their phones and social media. Encourage them to get involved in extracurricular activities such as sports, student government, community service, part-time jobs, arts, hobbies, and educational clubs. These activities provide teens with productive and engaging distractions that will refocus their energy through a positive outlet.   

Of course, nothing can ever replace the necessary one-on-one conversation.  

Make sure to give teens time to heal their broken hearts and offer them a listening ear, or a visit to a mental health professional, if necessary.