Nanotechnology will soon discover that some golfers consist of not only molecules, but microns that contain no DNA.
The microns contain PGA — Putting Good Annoys (your opponent).
New Homonym: Micron — small substance and distance.
Every year on Masters Sunday my microns vibrate. I was a micron away from receiving an invitation to compete. Actually, four matches away in the national championship; slightly more than a micron, but I still can’t stop the vibrations.
Augusta National hosts next week the most iconic stage in golf — The Masters. This year should be another good one. The European and PGA Tour have been very exciting thus far and the competition keener than ever. It might require rocket science to pick the winner this time.
Phil Mickelson is the logical man to pick with his recent Pebble Beach Victory and tournament experience.
World No. 1 — Rory McIlroy is firing on all cylinders and could redeem himself after last year’s final nine collapse.
The Warhorse — Steve Stricker has the wedge play and putting skills to tame Augusta. Perhaps Luke Donald will display his world-class precision and skill. His recent victory will give him a lot of confidence. Tiger’s win at Bay Hill last week will certainly make him a strong favorite.
Perhaps a newcomer will arrive on the scene. This has occurred a few times in recent years. Charl Schwartzel made history last year by birdieing the final four holes for victory. Zach Johnson, Trevor Immelman and Angel Cabrera worked their way to a green jacket rather unexpectedly. Jason Day has been quiet this year, but his memory of last year could inspire great things. Justin Rose has won every Masters except our own and his recent victory will bolster confidence.
Kyle Stanley would be a wonderful story. His heartbroken loss one week, and rise to victory the next exemplified the severe difficulty of golf and the fortitude necessary for success. He’s proved this season that he’s tough enough to earn a green jacket.
My pick for 2012?
A seasoned veteran at 38 years old who has thus far been denied a major championship: Lee Westwood. His overall record at Augusta is not that impressive, but two years ago he was a micron away from victory. He’s come close in other majors as well. I hope the stars align soon for Mr. Westwood.
Master’s Thesis: Life is created in microns when one obtains green jacket.
Fore F Rating Augusta National 50
Scott Stoner is in his 33rd year teaching technology education at Cumberland Valley Eagle View Middle School and has coached the Cumberland Valley High School golf team for 21 years, winning seven championships. He advanced to the Final 64 in the 1979 U.S. Amateur Golf Championship in Cleveland.